These are pretty funny! I had a cup of oatmeal and a protien shake. So for those of you that don't eat breakfast, toys,toys,toys!!
Sex with someone you are falling in love with but haven't told them yet.
Raunchy, painful sex with candle wax and handcuffs. Your neighbors really hate you.
Sex with your baby daddy.
Adequate, run of the mill in-and-out thirty minute start-to-finish doing of the deed sex
Eggs over easy
Sex with the first person who hit on you at the bar last night.
Sex with someone twice your age.
Hard boiled eggs
Sex with someone you hate.
Sex with someone you think you understand, but who is only using you to understand himself.
You bought lingerie, had your hair blown out, and lit some candles and he didn't even notice.
You tried a new position and even though it was kind of hot, you ended up pulling a muscle and having to stop to ice your thigh.
Sex in front of a big mirror.
Sex in front of a video camera
You and your best guy friend got drunk and had that kind of friends-with-benefits sex that you tend to fall into every year or so when you're both single and bored.
He was poorly endowed, and you were sorely disappointed. ...And you definitely fake it.
Passionate, mind-blowing, three hour long, oh-my-god screaming sex. (Go ahead and indulge in the Hollandaise sauce. You earned it.)
You forgot to wax. So what? You turned the lights off and went about your hairy way. Anyway, It was pretty good sex.
Half a Grapefruit
Sex with someone who was skinnier than you'll ever be.
Corned Beef Hash
Queef-inducing sex. Open a window next time.
You had sex with your eyes closed so you could pretend you were screwing someone else.
Foot fetish sex.
Secret love affair sex
Just a quickie.
Just a quicky in the shower.
Cup of Orange Juice
Your were a victim of your own performance anxiety. Chalk this one up to nerves.
Sex with someone who's name you've already forgotten. Whatever.
Sex to get ahead in your career.
Bagel with Cream Cheese
The kind of really bad sex where you can't wait to turn the lights off so you can roll your eyes during it.